Cathartical
by Eddiee Beth
Summary: When Sakura's inner voice decides to repay her a visit in the most unexpectedly wicked ways, she must go on a quest of self-discovery to learn how to combat it and purge it for good. Knowing no one will help her this time, she struggles to fight her own demon while Sakura's hidden fears resurface out of her own accord and jumble her head all over again. Until she met him again.
1. Headache

**_Oct. 2018_** … _Currently under a re-write, please be patient will me…_

This idea was inspired from reading a Tumblr posting on how Sakura's inner voice should make a reappearance once she was older and wildly rampaged her fleeting and centrally focused thoughts.

Please note that this is complete and utter fiction.

But, if you'd like to make sense of this fic, I guess you can say that this takes place somewhere when Sakura isn't with Sasuke, yet the Fourth Shinobi War is over, and she's already mastered the Strength of a Hundred Seal.

* * *

 ** _"The heart takes too long to figure out what the mind already knows. I hate that."_**

 ** _– (heart vs. mind)_**

Sakura gripped the vial closer to her chest, it's glowing purple contents rocking side to side, as a loud bell rang through her ears, temporarily drowning her senses in total deafness.

It was that shrilling noise that she had been battling with for the past months now. It had started two days after the bloody war had ended and Sasuke had disappeared once more. He was no longer on her mind now, knowing that he was safe and promised Naruto that he'd return to Konoha soon.

The loud splitting sound of a clipboard hitting the ground along with a voice she swore sounded like a whisper behind her retracted Sakura from her thoughts, bringing her back to the loud world taking place around her. The hospital, being busy as always, and the wailing of a newborn baby in the distance gave her a slight headache as it intensified in her ears.

She forced herself to move, squeezing the glass tube harder to the point of it receiving a small crack at the top.

It took her a few more minutes than usual for her senses to return along with her hearing. Sakura hated to admit that this was getting out of control. It was interrupting her work; preventing her from accomplishing her tasks.

More so, the headaches were worse at night.

Every blue moon, she would be jolted from her dreams and drenched in sweat. Tears would stream down from her glossy emerald eyes as her skull felt like it was being crushed, attempting to be flattened by that same bell-like noise pounding inside her head.

It was as if some unknown force was purposely tormenting her and she had no clue why. Then it would stop after a good seven minutes of hell that felt like an eternity.

Sleep was always lost on those rare nights. Her least favorite memory just happened to be the very first night she had gotten it.

She had silently sobbed the whole night, a fistful clenching the sheets around her and another hand occupied with pulling out her pink tresses. She prayed for those few minutes to pass, begging to whatever god was listening to make her fall back to sleep while miserably attempting to make the world stop shifting and spinning around her.

She had ended up falling out of the bed. Her knees were nuzzled tightly to her chest and when sunlight crept in, she discovered that her nails covered in dried blood. Purple scratches decorated her body from head to toe.

It didn't help that Sakura had no clue of what was wrong with herself. The doctor in her became obsessed with finding out why she was having such intense headaches and her research mode activated since that night.

She had tried every medicinal herb, experimented with new ones, and rummaged through all the scrolls in Konoha for an explanation or a remedy. However, she found neither.

Her only accomplishment was to subside the tingling migraines that came after, but nothing more. Her final resort, which she was hoping wouldn't come to this, was to find Shizune and confess to her the situation. Doctors weren't supposed to diagnose themselves in matters like these and Shizune would scold her, but she would need her help to stop these aches before they got worse.

 _'Sakura…'_ A painstakingly familiar voice echoed deep within her that she almost missed it.

She knew that voice and froze in her tracks just a few feet away from reaching Shizune's office. She needed to concentrate; needed to pinpoint whose voice it could be, swearing that she wasn't going crazy.

Sakura had truly heard someone call her. Yet, when she looked over her shoulder there was no one.

Maybe it was a just a trick of the mind.

Or maybe, that annoying ringing was due to the loud blasting of chakra explosions, tags, and her own punches of the earth from the war that had damaged her eardrums; yes, she thought, that had to be it.

With a scowl covering her features, she impatiently pried Shizune's door open with a little too much force, not caring that it had slightly unhinged from the frame. Typically, Sakura never acted with such force towards the hospital walls, but she was too preoccupied with the want of knowing the cause of her pain.

"Sakura?" Shizune surprisingly asked, long accustomed to her mood swings outside of work and towards her friends.

Ironic that it was, Shizune hadn't had the chance to get accustomed to Sakura's bursts of brutality that reminded her identically of Tsunade's personality. It was palpable that the girl had picked up more than just knowledge from the Legendary Sannin.

But, unlike Tsunade, Shizune sensed that this particular behavior was caused by built-up stress rather than that of sobriety. A 'bad mood' others would call it, but the brunette knew better from experience with the kunoichi. She had learned that Sakura's so-called moods rivaled Tsunade's very own, and much more containable, frustrations. Sakura's tempers usually ended with accidental destruction.

"What's wrong?"

"Headache," she grumbled the one word and sat down in the chair typically occupied by patients; the very chair the pink haired kunoichi despised.

Being a doctor, Shizune knew the incompetent feeling of surrendering yourself to be examined by another in the same profession all too well. It was never a good feeling and alarm bells rang in her head. If Sakura wasn't able to solve this on her own, then it was more serious than a normal ache.

"I need more than that, and you know it." Shizune motherly reprimanded while retrieving rubber gloves from a nearby compartment and turned to face the young women with her arms crossed, "All of it from the beginning or I'm not going to be of much help."

With a deep sigh that swept her long side bangs away from her face, Sakura explained, "There's a ringing in my ears that started a short while after the Fourth Shinobi War. I go deaf for a few minutes, the world spins and tilts, sometimes both at the same time, until it suddenly stops. When it does, I'm attacked by nearby noise all at once and I feel overwhelmed."

"Frequently? This had been going on for five months now?" Shizune wide-eyed asked, shocked that the pinkette had been enduring this pain for such a long time, "How many a week?"

"It was two every month and the aches were evenly spaced out from each occurrence, but I found that every month it gets stronger. There's been a difference this past week; I've gotten it twice," Sakura admitted, clenching the fabric of her bottoms in frustration and bit her lip before continuing, "I thought it was going to go away…When it didn't I began researching and testing, but I couldn't find anything on it. I never thought it would get so out of hand and progress this much."

"Did you evaluate yourself after each incident?" Shizune asked, her own hands lighting up with that greenish glow and proceeded to hover over Sakura's upper body.

"What do you take me for?" Sakura answered twisting herself to face the brunette so she could properly evaluate her head, "I always do after each occurrence to see if anything changes, but I never find anything out of the ordinary."

A few minutes of silence followed as Shizune focused on every vital blood cell and bodily detail operating inside the young woman while organizing her own thoughts.

Shizune realized that Sakura had a point, there was no sign of anything unordinary. Everything was accounted for, functioning, and reproducing properly. Just to be sure, the brunette hovered her chakra induced hands over the pinkette's ears and came to the same healthy conclusion.

With a sigh, her chakra faded away and she yanked the gloves off to wipe the sweat from her brows away.

Confused and a bit dazzled, Shizune finally spoke over the pregnant silence, "I'm not sensing anything strange. Luckily, Tsunade had me read a case about something similar. There was a patient long ago who's pent-up stress over time caused the body to rid of it through headaches now known as migraines. With your duties here at the hospital, you haven't taken any breaks since the war; it may just be stress or something along the lines of fatigue."

"Are you trying to use this as a manipulation tool to pressure me into taking a break?" Sakura asked with disbelief that Shizune was trying to take advantage of her state. Being a doctor granted her with a first-hand insight of this method, having used it a handful of times herself to get Naruto and Kakashi-sensei to catch up on much-needed rest.

"Don't be daft," Shizune scolded thumping the young woman on the head. She could be as stubborn as the boys in her life at times.

"Fine, what do you suggest I do to get rid of it?" Sakura asked guessing that one day off would suffice; it's not like she'll be magically cured by doing nothing for 24 hours. She needed a real remedy, not a miracle.

"Now that the war has come to an end, the hospital isn't full to the brim anymore. It can operate without you for the time being." Shizune hummed tapping her chin in thought before her tone turned lighter, one would think the brunette anticipated the remedy more than the patient, "I recommend that you take a vacation! We both know that a day off won't suffice for such a thing and you haven't even touched your sick days. Heck, you can even take a whole month off- actually, I'm not making this optional. I need you in tip-top shape and if that means the hospital is losing you for more than three weeks then so be it."

Sakura stayed quiet, thinking it through. Shizune's words rang true; her skills weren't needed as much as they had been when their job was to care for the wounded and fight against a callous threat.

"Tsunade once told me to take some time off from my studies to travel before getting strapped down in our demanding field of work. She once mentioned that a medic can learn a lot outside the hospital grounds; maybe even more than that during the war." Shizune wistfully lectured, "I don't regret it, but I was a fool not to do such a thing and I'm not going to let you pass it up as I did."

It was as if the older medic was persuading Sakura to take such an opportunity on her behalf as well.

"If that doesn't seem to do the trick," Shizune rambled onwards, eyes calculatingly moving from side to side trying to select on a verdict. After finally coming to another conclusion, her eyes lit up as she starred at the pinkette, "I would suggest meditating; it's like sleep when you can't get any. Then again, this could be something that has nothing to do with your body and more to do with your mind trying to tell you something."

"My mind?" Sakura vaguely repeated, unsure of what that really meant. "What could it possibly be trying to tell me? Whenever I get absorbed by the pain, death sounds like a better alternative for those few minutes. My body goes into acute awareness and it feels like I'm pulled back to the war all over again. I don't want to relieve those moments where everyone I care about are hurting."

Shizune quietly listened to the girl, lending her an ear to talk about her problems. Kami only knew how long the girl had been holding these feelings in for; it never did any good pretending to be fine, so she wouldn't worry anyone.

Shizune also took this time to further analyze the girl. Sakura may be reminded of the war, but her condition was not post-traumatic stress disorder or shell shock. She was showing no symptoms and her eardrums were as healthy as they could be for a ninja.

Whatever this was, it's obviously something deeper within her; like the tailed beasts that resided within a few great ninjas. Not like they were similar in the least bit, but both are unexplainable by science and seem to be rooted more with the host's emotional well-being.

"Sakura, has it ever occurred to you that returning to the place where it seems to be revolving around might help them go away?"

"You're saying to go back to where the battle took place. The field where my hundred-seal activated in a vain attempt that it might just vanish?" Sakura incredibly asked with a small scoff. "I'd say that's wishful thinking Shizune."

"What if I never heal?" Sakura continued rambling, "I can't live like this! It's getting in the way of my duties. Its random interruptions are overbearing-"

"I'm starting to think that vacation time may do you some good," Shizune rolled her eyes and bonked the girl in the head with a nearby scroll. "You're too pessimistic."

"I'm just being rational," Sakura replied nursing her new bump, "It's what doctors are trained to do. I can't help it."

"Well, that's where you're wrong, Sakura. You're a medic-nin first, doctor second or have you already forgotten?" Shizune assured the girl with a light pat on the shoulder as she looked down and into those confused emerald eyes, "Nobody's perfect; we all have our own struggles we constantly deal with, ninja or not. Even if it never goes away, seek those who have similar challenges and ask them how they overcome it before giving up."

"Giving up!? Nobody said anything about giving up here!" Sakura frantically shouted, jumping to her feet before realizing that the chuckling brunette was teasing her, "You're mean Shizune."

"It worked didn't it?" The older medic replied with a small smile, "For a second I thought I didn't recognize that determined girl who managed to persuade a stubborn Tsunade – except for that blinding pink locks of hair covering your head. Now, go on. Leave. You're wasting my time Sakura."

Shizune shooed her away from her office, glancing at her clock as she noticed her break was over and needed to tend to an urgent patient in the shinobi ward, "Whatever bumps in the road you come face-to-face with, I know you'll overcome it. You are, after all, Tsunade's apprentice. Remember that."

"Thanks, Shizune." Sakura gave the woman a quick hug before leaving in a hurry to meet up with her own appointment that she was late for. Sakura shook her head knowing her lunch date was undoubtedly pissed for being this late already.

* * *

"Kazekage, there's a hawk for you," a guard announced after receiving the message himself, "It's from Naruto."

Gaara nodded once to the guard, his universal signal that provided any verbal confirmation to proceed with the process of retrieving the bird for him. It's not like this was new, he had been pen-pals with Naruto for a few years now despite the blonde occasionally doing most of the writing.

Within a few minutes, he found himself starring up from his work at the very comfortable golden hawk on his desk. It even had the gall to stare fiercely back at him without fear, knowing that the red-headed man wouldn't do anything to harm him without reason.

With a hum of approval for the creature's bravery, Gaara detached the scroll from its left leg and wondered what Naruto was ranting on about this time. As of late, Naruto had divulged that he had been avoiding his pink haired kunoichi by taking on missions one after another.

Gaara sighed, disliking the use of that possessive noun. It's not like they were dating for the girl to belong to Naruto; the blonde was happily courting the Hyuga Heiress.

His feelings of such dislike for the noun could've emerged after being released from the hold of the Shukaku and with Naruto's constant moral help, he had a new perspective of the world and an endless inquisitiveness to how people lived freely. Sometimes he felt like an intruder watching the lives of others around him, yet this has taught him that nothing and no one was truly another's to own.

It was just that Gaara wasn't sure how to refer to the girl without dragging Naruto into the fray because she had no relation to him.

Sakura wasn't _his_ friend, she was Naruto's best friend and beloved teammate. She was _his_ first introduction to love but was merely an acquaintance of the past to Gaara.

But apparently, Naruto hadn't received the memo that the girl was her own person. The blonde was over his head worried about his female friend's personal affairs after Uchiha's latest disappearance to who knows where. This was what Gaara dubbed as one of Naruto's precious people; someone the blonde took responsibility of caring solely for the reason because they mattered to him.

Garra didn't particularly care, it was none of his business after all, and he knew the kunoichi could very well look after herself. She had made it excruciatingly clear since the first day she confronted him during the chunin exams.

He was half transformed yearning to kill yet here she was, alive after all these years and all because of those determined eyes of hers. She had made him hesitate, leaving an opening for Naruto to attack and stop him in time before he really did something he would regret.

Then she had gone and defeated Akatsuki no Sasori during his rescue mission while saving his brother from the brink of death. She had even given his sister dating advice regarding Shikamaru according to Naruto's letters two months ago.

Without personally knowing her, she had managed to make her presence known in his life. There was no doubt that he was indebted to her for everything she had done, and continued to do, for him and his family.

With that in mind, he planned to advise Naruto that Sakura, in her own time, would get over the devastation Naruto seemed so hooked up on because she was strong. Hopefully, this would also help calm the blonde's overwhelming concern and keep the girl in the clear from Naruto's intrusive worry for the time being.

He owed her that much.


	2. Salmon

**_"The world gives you so much pain and here you are making gold out of it. There is nothing purer than that."_**

 ** _\- Rupi Kaur_**

"I don't understand why you're so against the idea," Ino said with a roll of her eyes before slipping a fried piece of salmon between her lips. A loud crunch was heard among their booth, snapping Sakura back from the depth of her thoughts.

"It's not that I'm not against it, it's just that I don't know what to do anymore," Sakura replied, poking her food and pushing it around the large plate. She didn't feel like eating when her mind was so full, "I was always chasing after a goal but now that I've reached it, I feel lost. I don't know what to do next."

Ino swallowed the food in her mouth while staring intently at her best friend. Her long face masked Sakura's beautiful features with a layer of sadness that just didn't suit the pink haired girl.

The last time she saw her like this was when they were chunin level, facing the reality of the dangers involved with becoming real ninjas. After everything her friend had gone through, she deserved to finally be at ease and content with life. The worst was done now with the war being over and she had even fought a damn god; it wasn't right that she was this miserable.

"You're overthinking this," Ino said, pushing her own unfinished meal away to seriously focus on the subject at hand. Her friend was worth her full attention as she continued, "Take the opportunity Sakura! You haven't taken a break since the war and maybe traveling around can help you figure out what you want to do next in life.

"Besides, what do you have to lose? You're not doing anything here but waiting around for news on your boys while you busy yourself with mindless tasks around the hospital. Let them have a taste of their own medicine; kami knows you've done your fair share of waiting."

"How did you pick up on that?" Sakura asked, catching the small smile decorating Ino's face. It was one of those rare smiles that reminded Sakura of why she was friends with the gossiping blonde; it revealed that there was more to credit Yamanaka Ino than just drama.

"I have my own boys to worry about, Forehead," Ino chuckled, placing her hand on the table. "Just remember to look after yourself too."

There was a glint shining in those blue eyes that Sakura couldn't ignore. It was as if the blonde knew something she didn't.

"You've already thought of your future?" Sakura curiously asked, wondering why she hadn't taken the initiative herself. She had never fathomed the idea of what was to come after accomplishing her lifetime-goal of getting Sasuke back home.

"What do you take me for? Of course, I have! It's no secret that I'm going to take over my mother's flower shop, especially now that it's just us two. I want to cherish my time with her.

"I was also thinking about volunteering at the Academy and teach students about the possibility of becoming medic-nins," Ino confessed with a small giggle.

"What?! Why didn't you tell me?" Sakura asked, wide-eyed as realization settled in that her friend was so ahead of her in planning her next few years. Lately, it seemed that everyone she knew was settling down and moving on with their lives. It scared Sakura that she was so behind on even deciding what she wanted to do with her own life.

First, there was Naruto who was still pursuing his dream of becoming Hokage. He was finally getting serious with his training and applying himself to actually go after the title; he was somewhere out there right now learning about strategies and the like.

Kakashi had also left their little village to go seek out nature's beauty and get away from all the post-war stress and nostalgia. Even Sai had joined the Anbu just to try something new.

If she was being honest, Sakura felt a bit left out.

"Don't you dare feel bad." Ino said always knowing the right thing to say, "I haven't told anyone. I'm still waiting on the 'ok' too proceed with the application and getting accepted for the position. The only reason I am telling you now is that I wanted you to assist me with the kiddos."

"Me?" Sakura said with disbelief as she shook her head in opposition.

"You always handle those little devils at the hospital so well and this new generation…they'll grow up hearing stories about the war. Imagine their little faces when I bring you with me to dazzle them since you're practically the goddess of medicine."

If Sakura didn't know any better, she would've thought Ino was jealous of her. It was a shame that Sakura did know her all too well and, ironically, Sakura was currently envying the blonde for thinking so far ahead.

"Remarkably, that's very generous and mature of you," Sakura commented as a small blush covered her features from the blonde's praise.

"Meanwhile, I'm also on the look-out for a potential husband," the blonde's eyes sparkled as she romantically proclaimed her hidden agenda that sounded straight out of a novel, "Imagine all the men or single fathers, I'll meet while helping out these children?"

"And there's the Ino-Pig I know," Sakura sighed, but internally cursed herself that the blonde's strategy wasn't as ridiculous as usual. Ino wanted to start a family now that the war was over, which was beyond reasonable, and the prospect of settling down with a lover to raise a child was an entertaining thought…one that reared her mind towards a certain dark-haired male.

"Oh, come on," Ino rolled her eyes for the second time that day and accusingly looked at Sakura, "It's not like you've never considered the thought of starting a life with Sasuke once he returned."

Sakura huffed, her cheeks blowing up in embarrassment as she mumbled her reply, "Yeah right, if I'm not enough to make him stay…"

Sakura's voice trailed off as she reenacted all those moments she had failed to convince him to stay in the village. She wasn't strong enough be his reason to stay when they were children, and it appeared that even as adults she still wasn't enough to keep him anchored. He had left once more and this time around, she had enough self-resistance to not run after him again.

It had burned her. He always seemed to be able to hit her where it hurt the most and yet she was still able to light a torch for him in her heart.

Piningly, Sakura looked straight at the blonde's eyes, "What makes you think he'd choose me to start a family with?"

"Is that what you think?" Ino scolded her hopelessly romantic friend, "Everyone saw the final battle that ended the war by the hands of your team."

"Everyone was fighting Ino," Sakura sighed. For a minute, she wanted to thump her head on the table in exhaustion to try to reason with why that was such a lame point. "We were all acting on adrenaline and the thought that anyone we loved could die that very second was in the back of all our minds; we were all acting out of character. As far as I can tell, he only cared an ounce more than usual about me."

"You're being unreasonable. War shows people's true colors," Ino shook her head, "and he caught you from toppling over for stupidly channeling all your chakra to Naruto after what you did to heal everyone around you. If he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have even worried about you.

"If it wasn't for you and Naruto, he wouldn't have considered stepping foot back here at all. Yet, he did come back to Konoha despite the consequences of defection. Admit it, he'd still be brooding out there all alone."

"But he _is_ still out there, Ino!" Sakura painfully choked, slamming a fist on the table. Sakura was too frustrated to be ashamed and apologize for disturbing the once peaceful atmosphere of the little café. Instead, she took to look off to the side and through the window pane they were sitting next to.

Ino brushed her hair away, releasing a dejected sigh, knowing she wasn't going to be able to sway her friend's judgment, "That may be true, but he's most definitely not alone anymore. He knows now that he has all his friends back home to consider."

Sakura's eyes roamed the greenery outside, but she didn't focus on anything necessarily as she was too engrossed in trying to believe Ino's words.

She too had once thought that Sasuke's actions, after defeating his brother, hinted towards something more. That little thread of hope screaming inside her that maybe she was important to him, but kami she had been wrong about him so many times.

She was probably reading too much into his behavior; even going so far to momentarily convince herself that he truly did feel something for her when his gaze was settled on her a little longer than usual…or when he stood closer to her on his own accord and glanced at her without annoyance covering his features.

His dark eyes had been so hypnotic and soothing that she wondered if she stared at them all day, she could easily forget about all her worries.

But it didn't last. It never did with him and he had left her behind again and this time with the Hokage's permission to let him inflict a self-exile and run off-site missions as his punishment for defecting.

He had known how much it would've hurt her, yet he had gone through with it. It pained her to see him leave and it stung more when he had requested Naruto and Kakashi as his point of contacts; they were the only two who had permission to contact him and see how he was progressing on his assignments.

Sakura's hand itched at the thought; she had felt the urge to beat the crap out of one of her teammates. Something about punching people in the face was an ideal release of all her pent-up tension for her. Too bad, she cared about her dignity a little more than to have a full-blown tantrum in front of the whole council.

She just couldn't understand why he hadn't picked her. Did he not believe in her abilities after all this time?

It wasn't shocking that she had cried that night like a school girl, recalling her pitiful reflection; unforgettable puffy red eyes squinting from all the pain. And she would never tell a soul that it had been the same night that the ringing in her head had begun.

Sakura felt her eyes water, and she quickly grabbed the napkin and wiped the stupid tears away. She felt so pitiful, "I'm sorry, I just-"

"Why the hell are you apologizing?" Ino asked placing a comforting hand on Sakura's tense one that had been bunching the tablecloth in her palm. She was cold to the bone and this pissed the blonde some more, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Sakura. Don't you dare go blaming yourself. You're not weak, you haven't been for a while now.

"You know, sometimes you can be a really good friend Ino," Sakura replied, mirth lacing her hoarse voice from hiding her emotions.

"You're not telling me something are you?" Ino asked with a sigh, but instead of releasing Sakura's hand like the pinkette imagined she would, Ino held on tighter. It just made Sakura feel guilty.

She was lying to herself too.

No matter what he did to her, she couldn't help but think of him. Every now and then, for the past few years, she had caught herself wondering where he was or if he was safe or if he _needed_ her.

He had been stuck in her head for as long as she could remember. Sakura knew it wasn't just a coincidence that her headaches had intensified the same day he had left behind Konoha again.

When he walked away from her again.

But she wasn't going to jump to any conclusions. She wanted to figure this – her headaches and her feelings – out like any other unbiased medic would because there was a period when she had been happy.

There were days when she only thought about Sai, Naruto, and Kakashi. Moments when she could sleep without any burdens about the missing boy and just smile at the antics her new team seven would pull. It may have been brief, but those days were precious to her.

There were also days when she pushed herself to get stronger under Lady Tsunade for herself. Not for Sasuke or Naruto, but because she wanted to do it to prove her worth.

Then she would falter, realizing that she had been forgetting them when they both had left. That feeling that attacked her had been more than guilt; it had been heartache because she didn't want to forget her boys. All those moments, the good and the bad, made her into who she was and despite the pain, she never wanted to forget.

"You can tell me when you're ready, you know. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but sometime soon." Ino said pulling Sakura back from her thoughts, "I'll always be here for you Sakura. I just can't guarantee that I won't judge. Then again, that's why you always find me; so, you can hear the truth."

Sakura smiled at hearing that. She really was blessed with the best of friends.

"I can't keep secrets from you Ino," Sakura said squeezing back Ino's hand as if it would lend her some of that bold courage the blonde seemed to possess. "I'm terrified of leaving.

"The thought of leaving presents me with the tempting opportunity to go looking for him," Sakura faced the blonde again, sheer honesty covering her features, "In the end, I wouldn't let myself do such a pathetic thing…but I would look for his face among the crowd of strangers I'd meet."

"Why waste your energy when he promised he'd be back?" Ino curiously asked knowing it would be a lost cause to persuade her friend into thinking otherwise, yet she still chose to waste her breath. "I'm not team 'Sasuke'. I don't care who you end up with, or if you don't, as long as you're happy then so am I. Everyone else will just have to put up with it or face me."

Sakura went to open her mouth, but the blonde raised her other hand to shush her. She should've known that Ino wasn't done; the girl loved to talk.

"You should focus on yourself. Leave all this drama behind and just wander around, find out who you are, what you want to be. Go meditate on a cliff with a beautiful view, learn more about this world, or sleep your days away on the beach but dammit Sakura, just don't get stuck here."

"I…like the thought of that. It sounds nice," Sakura said wondering if that was even a possibility for her. She had never had a chance to explore as the rest of her team did.

A trip where she could focus on widening her medicinal knowledge. Mediate to the beat of a waterfall was on her bucket list too, but what caught her interest was the thought of no emergency trips to the hospital in the middle of the night or having to make small chit-chat about how many kids she wanted at the market with the baker.

Not having to make up excuses and pretend to have her life together sounded like a treat.

"Great!" Ino said finishing off her drink and the pinkette noticed that her plate full of salmon was already wiped clean, "That means I get a head start and first pick in the available suitors here in Konoha."

"You Pig," Sakura said with a fake scowl, quickly losing her serious facade as she broke out in laughter at her friend's boy-crazed thinking.

Only Ino would be able to make her laugh so hard after such an important conversation. Her friend was amazing in her own way, but there was no doubt she was a lot to handle and not just anyone was compatible with her grand personality.

"You know, I don't think a civilian will be able to take you seriously. You should try dating shinobi first," Sakura contemplated out loud.

"You're right, I don't want to be a stay-at-home wife cooking all day. I may be a florist, but I'm also a very respectful warrior." She announced taking the opportunity to praise herself, "Besides, I have all the time in the world to meet men since you'll probably marry Sasuke once he finally gets the chance to ask you."

"Woah, who said anything about marriage? First, I need a boyfriend." Sakura said debunking Ino's speculation, "I've never been in a serious relationship with anyone; not like yourself and those flings that I've heard so much about. I've never even had…you know…s…e…x."

Ino couldn't help but bite her lip to stop from laughing at how red Sakura's cheeks flushed red.

"In Sasuke's case, we're comrades; I'm not even sure he considers me a friend." Sakura announced feeling like she was twelve all over again and pinning after the cool kid in class, "Not saying that it wouldn't be nice and all-"

The pinkette's sentence was cut short when a small popping noise blasted in her right ear. She quickly looked down, a hand clasped over the appendage, and squinted her eyes in a failing attempt to push the sound out.

Her inner struggle lasted for a few seconds as she saw black spots in her vision and then everything went back to normal or at least as normal as it could be when there was a frantic blonde shaking her shoulders.

"Chikusho, Sakura, you scared me," Ino worriedly announced as other occupants and spectators also relaxed back into their seats. Once the girl was seated and didn't appear that she was going to fall out of it again, Ino released her grip, "You almost fell head first onto the floor and then you zoned out staring at Hokage knows what for three minutes. Are you okay?"

"No," Sakura vaguely answered with wide-eyed as the blonde's words sank in.

It had happened so quickly that this time it had felt like three seconds. It was the shortest pang of ache Sakura had experienced, and it didn't help matters that it had occurred twice in one day.

She needed to figure out what was wrong as quickly as possible as she replied, "I don't think I am."

"I may not be an expert like you, but I know this isn't good news Sakura," the blonde left some change on the table before helping Sakura rise on her wobbly legs and led her through the door of the café. "This is seriously affecting you and I won't stand idly by. You're leaving come sunrise, I'll take care of everything and look after your houseplants. If I see you tomorrow, I'll make the Hokage force you to leave."

"Are you kicking me out Ino?" The pinkette joked trying to liven the mood again. She didn't want their good time to end all because of the stupid headaches. She wanted the atmosphere to return to its care-free playful air.

"Do you even have to ask that? How is it that you're smarter than me with such a big forehead?" Ino joked with a sincere nod. "But don't worry, you're not escaping me that easily. I'm going to help you pack."

At that moment, Sakura felt so grateful that she had such a caring and trustworthy friend that stood by her through thick and thin; whether it be about matters of the heart or in this case of the mind.


	3. War Paint

**_"She's the flowers,_**

 ** _But she's also the rain,_**

 ** _She's the beauty of the day,_**

 ** _But also the nights full of pain."_**

 ** _-unknown_**

She stared at the gate, ba held out in front of her as she wondered about the what ifs. The dangerous, 'what could haven been' thinking creeping into her as memories of the past where she had stood at the very same spot and had stared at the same metal poles flooded her.

She bitterly smiled shaking her head, sick of wasting another minute just standing here. It was finally her turn, after all these years…

"Didn't expect to see you here Naruto," Sakura sighed knowing she had once dreamt of running through these gates and after her comrades' retrieving backs.

"I just arrived a few hours ago and you know Kakashi, that old man can't keep a secret if he deems it necessary." Naruto casually replied eyeing hid long-time pink haired best friend with worry, "Especially after all the bad karma we've been through together. Hiding our emotions was always one of our biggest problems and it seems like you've been bottling yours up, Sakura."

She hummed, careful not to confirm his suspicions because she was ashamed that she had been ignoring her feelings longer than she'd like to confess. "It's my burden to bear, Kami knows you've already had more than your fair share Naruto."

"Come on Sakura-chan," he whined, and Sakura almost caved into his endearing nickname for her. It had been months since she had heard him call her that; since she had seen him from his never-ending missions assigned to him right after the war. She fought with herself to not give in as he said, "You can talk to me."

"Don't, Naruto," Sakura said, surprising herself with how her voice was firmer and more confident than she felt, "Please don't meddle and try to get me to stay. This is the least you red-eyed boys could do for me."

She heard him release a frustrated puff of air, letting her know that he had relented for now and Sakura finally turned to face him knowing he wouldn't persuade her. She couldn't bare seeing him try to get her to stay because then she wouldn't fight him. And he knew this, he was Naruto after all. He could unite a whole nation under him to fight against a common evil.

"Where will you go?" Naruto asked, his baby blue eyes piercing straight through her practically begging her to reconsider her decision. Sakura was grateful that she had so many people who cared for her.

"Aren't you supposed to ask me to stay?" She asked scrunching her brows in confusion.

"Not unless you want me to," he replied with a small smile, "But just by looking at you, you need this and us red-eyed guys have already asked too much from you. You know I can't be that selfish if this is what you really want."

A pang of guilt cut through her chest as she stared wide-eyed, "But I was. Still am, Naruto. It eats me up every day knowing I had asked you to bring back Sasuke because all I cared about was me. I am a very inconsiderate fool, but if you ask, I'll stay for you."

He simply shook his head, an arm encircling her as he brought her close to his chest for a hug, "You shouldn't let that bother you. Believe it because thanks to you that baka's still alive. You gave me a reason to bring him back and still believe that he was-is our teammate."

Sakura hugged him tighter and they stayed like that for a few minutes, savoring in the comfort they each provided for the other; it would be a perfect world if they could only stay like that forever. But if life as a kunoichi had taught her anything, it was that nothing was ever story book ending, picture perfect.

"I-I'm going to Sunagakure to visit an old friend first." Sakura spoke once he released his hold on her and she fumbled with the strap of her bag, "I don't exactly have a plan after that."

"You'll figure it out Sakura-chan! You always do," Naruto cheerfully said reverting back to that naïve child she knew he was, "Say hi to Gaara for me, will you?"

"Of course," she said, returning his smile with a small of her own.

Not knowing what else to say, she took a step forward towards the gate ready to face what awaited her outside of her village. Her hand outstretched towards the gate but froze when she heard his voice call out to her again and silently dreaded that he wouldn't stop her.

And then he surprised her like he always did. She knew for sure that she'd miss him.

"Come back home soon, when you're finally ready. I'll be here waiting, I promise Sakura-chan," Naruto shouted. "I'll miss you, probably deserve it considering how long we made you wait though."

Sakura just smiled like a big goofball. She knew he would keep that promise. For a moment, it felt nice to feel back to normal and just banter with the blonde like before when it was just them and nothing else to worry about.

"I'd be an idiot to keep you waiting then," Sakura shouted back, her hand on the gate feeling bolder, "You're too good for me Naruto. But, you might want to make sure you visit Hinata right after this. She's missed you so much she might have forgotten who you are."

Naruto mocked a look of shock over his features causing Sakura to let out another real laugh and said, "Who knows, maybe when you come back there'll be little blonde boys with the byakugan running around the village."

Sakura just continued to laugh, pushing the gate until it unhinged and opened wide enough for her to pass. When she was on the other side, Sakura turned and waved at the closest friend she loved more than anything in the worlds and shouted back, "I'd love to see that Naruto."

* * *

Sakura wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, cursing the blaring sun above as she continued trekking through the sand dunes. She groaned briefly stomping the ground for choosing to travel to Suna like a child before breathing in and exhaling hot steam. She could do this, she was almost there. She had to keep remaindering herself that it was not a mistake to head this way.

Although it was a heat-of-the-moment decision – thinking so much about temperature was not helping her case – to make a pit stop at Suna and pray to Chiyo for her blessing, Ino had encouraged her to follow through and just go. Honestly, what else did she have to lose besides the fact of her passing out from dehydration?

Sakura squinted at the sun, pulling the hood of her beige scarf tighter to protect her skin from the sun's harsh rays but wearily gave up and looked back down to the cracked sand beneath her feet. She had to suck her whining up and proceed like an adult; its what was expected of her even if she just wanted to flair her hands in the air with exasperation and scream at the top of her lungs.

"I guess age has not matured me enough," Sakura bitterly spoke to herself and unlatched her canteen with a scowl. She gulped the remainder of the cool liquid between her parched lips, letting out a satisfied sigh. Her lips that once held moisture could now be considered as cracked as the desert's land itself as she muttered, "I better get that blessing after suffering through this."

"Are you that thirsty that you're talking to yourself now?" a smirking shinobi asked as he approached her, and Sakura noticed the faint outline of Suna's walls behind him. She wondered if that had been there all along or maybe she was hallucinating as the shinobi predicted.

"It seems I finally made it through the death-valley after three torturing days, huh," Sakura sarcastically spoke, uncaring if she offended the puppeteer sand sibling; she was just too drained to care. "Are you here to escort me in Kankuro?"

Kankuro laughed at her uncouth manner, having been expecting nothing less from Naruto's friend and the former sake-loving Hokage's apprentice.

"You get used to it," he replied shrugging off her comment and gestured for her to follow as he signed to the guards that she was safe to pass through, "Or die trying."

"Was that a joke? That better not have been a threat!" She replied catching up to him and synching with his steps but flashed him a smile nonetheless, "You don't happen to have water on you?"

He snickered, seeming to like teasing the younger girl and unhooked his own canteen from his belt, one that Sakura hadn't noticed hanging onto him, and handed it to her. He even took their playful exchange a step forward and patted her on the head, ruffling her hair into static underneath her wrap.

Right before she could protest, he handed the canteen into the destructive palms of her hand, "Here, can't have the famous medic-nin pass out from dehydration while I escort her. It'd look bad for Suna, you know."

"So considerate," Sakura ironically ridiculed with a roll of her eyes. She graciously accepted his water and unscrewed the lid to take a sip, "You know, you have something on your face."

She had almost caught him, he was about to ask her exactly what was on his face, before he stopped himself from falling for the joke. A scowl adorned his purple-painted lips and she just smirked, finishing off his water.

"Ha, ha, very funny," he replied, and then smirked back at her, "At least I got to kiss you."

It took a moment for Sakura to understand what he was referring to until he pointed at the canteen which she threw back at him, aiming for his big head. Unfortunately, he caught it like a second reflex and she bravely poked her tongue out at him.

"It's nice to see you again," Sakura seriously said, all jokes aside now that her head was clear and her body full of much-needed fluids. She sighed and watched as they went through the gates with little hassle and straight for the Kazekage tower. She briefly glanced at the familiar alley that led behind the tower with anticipated longing.

"You too, Sakura," Kankuro's care-free nature consumed Sakura with calmness as he sent a wide smile her way. "You look different with that seal on your face, much more mature."

She accepted the compliment, despite it bringing back the plague of her little issue and memories of the Fourth War. Her stupid head was why she was here in the first place. She let a hum escape her in reply, knowing he meant well and gave him a small, barely there smile. He wasn't at fault; he didn't know her situation and she was not about to lash out at him for reminding her.

Instead, with her dignity in tack, she broke her smile into a grin and retreated into common territory instead. She teased him.

"Yes, well, your new face paint does wonders in bringing out your angular features and chiseled chin. The contour is quite spectacular." She had briefly turned his head from side to side to inspect his face, biting her bottom lip to keep herself from giggling. The action helped her look concentrated instead.

"Thank- Wait, did you just compare my warrior paint to make-up?" Kankuro pouted and childly poked her ribs, "Just when we were getting along, there you go ruining the moment."

Kankuro watched her laugh, knowing that she was reverting to this playful manner and shying away from something that was obviously bothering her. He was grateful that he could provide her with a little laughter in what he sensed was a gloomy aurora coming from her.

"Moment? What moment could you possibly ever have with a beautiful woman, dear brother?" Temari wittily cut in, appearing from the corner of the Kazekage's building that Kankuro had been leading her towards. "She's way out of your league anyway."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence sis," Kankuro rolled his eyes and Sakura suppressed a chuckle for the puppeteer's sake. "Besides, Sakura isn't my type."

"Your type?" Sakura curiously asked raising a questioning brow.

Kankuro smirked at the pinkette as if silently telling her she had no chance with a preoccupied playboy like him, "Your beautiful, tough, and smart Sakura. Unfortunately, I'm attracted to women with-"

"Half a brain? Into bondage?" Temari butted in, cringing after her last comment, before Kankuro could answer himself, "Actually, I don't want to know anything. And I'm sure Sakura wasn't asking to try to win you over."

Kankuro merely rolled his eyes while Sakura turned to wave a greeting at the blonde. Sakura wasn't close to the blonde, only having chatted briefly over the years, but she considered the older woman a friendly face and Sakura learned the hard way to never take friends for granted. Besides, Temari was 'friends' with Shikamaru and after hearing all his stories about her through Ino, Sakura knew they could be really good friends.

"Temari, it's good to see you again," Sakura replied with a small smile bidding Kankuro some time to find a sassy comeback. Boys always needed a little extra time to think.

"Yeah, I can't even remember the last time we talked," Temari commented with a nod of greeting, "You should visit us more often, it's always nice to have another girl around."

Sakura hummed in agreement, "Same to you and I'm sure someone else other than me would like to see you back in Konoha."

Temari blushed and Sakura watched in humor as Kankuro merely raised an eyebrow at there exchange before saying, "Anyways, here's your stop Sakura."

He pointed at the Kazekage's door before leaning into Sakura's shoulder, "If you tell me who she's crushing on, I'll let you that your long hair is kind of a turn on for me."

Sakura's eye twitched, but she laughed at how badly he ruined his leverage and Kankuro smacked his forehead realizing it a little too late. With no shame, he strutted away, and Sakura could feel her hand tingle to send him flying into the nearby wall for being so cheeky.

"What did he say?" Temari worriedly asked, wondering if her idiot brother was catching onto who her little crush in Konoha was.

Sakura could briefly imagine the blonde's brain gearing into worse case scenarios and chose to relieve her of her concern, "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

"Ah, thanks," Temari blushed harder but ignored it as if nothing was wrong, the girl sure had dignity and grace on her side.

"It's nothing," Sakura replied trying to borrow some of Temari's greater qualities and ready herself to meet Gaara, Kazekage of Suna. The last time she had seen him in his new position was when they were preparing for war and even though they were on the same side, he was too busy running an army. They were both in their own worlds to have had time to speak to each other; time wasn't allowed to be wasted back then.

Temari silently watched the girl compose herself as if she previously hadn't been worthy enough to meet their famed, youngest leader of Suna and war hero. If only Sakura knew she too was a war hero of another level. Sakura had more accomplishments under her belt than Temari would ever. This pink haired girl was more than enough, and Temari shook her head with a frown. What Temari would give to have such an amazing reputation like her; honestly, Sakura belonged into a lineage family like her own.

That idea struck Temari hard. Imagine, a sister like Sakura would be a perfect asset! She would finally have someone to talk to and to train with, not that she didn't already do that with her brothers, but it was different. There could be another girl and less testosterone in the room; well, thankfully Gaara wasn't as much of an idiot male like Kankuro. The red head was far more reserved.

Temari sighed, wondering who would be better to pair Sakura with…

"Temari?" Sakura asked for the third time wondering what could be consuming the older woman's thoughts.

"Huh? Sorry, I was just thinking about something," Temari chuckled in embarrassment, "Lost in thought you know?"

Sakura nodded not being able to blame the girl, she too had several zoning-out moments, "I think we've kept Gaara waiting long enough."

"Ah, right," Temari also nodded and turned the door knob revealing a desk where Gaara sat, looking up from his slightly average pile of paperwork straight at them.

It sent shivers down Sakura's back at how he looked straight through her as if he was reading her like a report with nothing to hide. She cleared her head of those drifting thoughts and instead focused on how he seemed to be seen through the towering papers, noticing that he had grown in stature some more. In her head he was always the short little boy and during the war, he had been at an average height, but now he was rewriting that image in her head with his slim, but bulky shoulders.

Sakura blushed, breaking her equanimity and realizing that she was starring longer than necessary and resorted to a respectful bow to cool off and hide her humiliating flush, "Kazekage-sama."

"I was starting to wonder if you were going to stand outside my door all day," Gaara coolly commented surprising Sakura, who sprang back upwards to look at him, that he was making a joke at all towards his sister. She had never seen this side of him or known him as well as Naruto who confessed the Kazekage could be amusing when he wanted to.

"No need to be so formal," Temari said nudging Sakura on her side and purposely ignoring her brother's comment.

Sakura just smiled, not knowing exactly what to say. This wasn't Tsunade or Kakashi's presence she was in and she felt awkward to get comfortable for fear that it would show a lack of respect towards Gaara especially after he had so graciously let her stay on such short notice.

Playing it safe, Sakura finally spoke, "Thank you for your hospitality, Gaara."

He starred at her for a second too long and Sakura could feel the warmth return to her face and spread down towards her chest which she had zipped down just a little due to the sweat that had accumulated around her neck during her trek here. Earlier that day, it had felt like she hadn't done anything to relieve the itch, but now she felt like she had tugged her zipper a little too much.

He probably thought she was a skank now, and she found herself wondering why she even cared about what he thought about her. She never felt like this when she was around Naruto or Sai.

"Haruno Sakura," he finally spoke never looking away from her face which Sakura found she liked how his eyes didn't travel any lower, "A friend of Naruto's is always welcomed here."

The corner of Sakura's lips tilted down a bit at his recognition of her. She didn't know why it bothered her to be known as Naruto's friend rather his friend. Maybe it was because she was always behind her two teammates as they received the praise and compliments; she was always just the girl in the back, the girl who doesn't have a prestigious clan, the girl who needs rescuing.

Dammit, she didn't work her ass off to get back her tow teammates safely from the war and prove herself to still be known as Naruto's friend of Sasuke's admirer.

"Right." Sakura tight-lipped replied, looking away from Gaara and starring a whole at the stack of papers on top a cabinet, "Naruto sends his regards. He's finally back from his mission and I'm sure you'll hear more from him soon."

Sensing the sudden hostility radiating from the younger girl, Temari decided to join once more in the conversation instead of just observing from the sidelines.

"Now that we're all done with formalities and greetings," Temari said while pushing herself off the wall she had been leaning on from behind the pinkette, "What brings you to here Sakura?"

That helped blow off some steam from the pinkette and Sakura shifted her stare at the surrounding cacti in the office to face the blonde, "Not everyone knows I'm here, but it's not an official mission. It was a last-minute thing and if Shika had known I'd be here I'm sure he'd send his regards too. I'm just here for a few days before going on my way to a village."

Temari blushed, a sight that neither Gaara or Sakura missed after she voiced Shikamaru's name. Sakura found herself remembering when she used to act the exact same way and found the girl's response rather cute.

"Where exactly do you plan to go?" Gaara's firm tone drew her attention back to him. His voice demanded authority and an answer, but Sakura wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him the embarrassing truth despite it seeming like the best thing to do. He had a right to know especially after temporarily accepting her into his village and to roam freely.

With a defeating sigh, Sakura said, "My final destination is the Land of Lightning, but I'm heading north first and probably stopping at other villages along the way. I'm just here to pay a visit to Chiyo-baasan before I begin my journey."

"What exactly is the reason for this journey?" Temari curiously asked, wondering why the girl would travel all the way here to Suna when her own village was closer.

"It's confidential," Sakura lied, feeling her heart tug and squeeze from hearing her voice aloud. She didn't feel strong enough to reveal the whole truth to the blonde, at least not in front of Gaara who seemed to be assessing her all over again. "I have no hidden agenda if that's what you're thinking of."

She didn't mean to sound stiff and angry, knowing Temari wasn't asking with malice or incredulity, but somehow Sakura's betraying voice managed to sound offended. She mentally cursed at herself, dammit, and her head started buzzing with the beginning pain of a headache.

"I apologize, I didn't mean to accuse anyone-" Sakura began to explain but Gaara's fierce stare cut her off and Sakura froze on the spot with wide-eyes and a gaping mouth.

"Not everyone has bad intentions, I know this better than anyone out there," Gaara said through gritted teeth, but one look from Temari has Gaara knowing he was taking this way too far and letting this unnecessary slip-up get to him. It helped that he knew she hadn't meant it, but it bothered him knowing there was something she was hiding from him. Somehow, he knew if he wasn't in the room Sakura would have trusted and confessed her problems to his sister.

"I didn't come here to stir up trouble, I apologize if I upset you Kazekage-sama," Sakura said with a bow, finding herself reverting to the standard protocol she had learned when training under Tsunade and maintained her position, "I known the war is over, but I also understand that you are the leader of Suna and will always be cautious. I may just be a friend of Naruto and his teammate, but please have faith in me."

Gaara flinched, the sincerity in her quacking voice stung a nerve reminding him of when he was younger trying to gain the trust of the village and the councilmen and become the Kazekage. He was amazed at how she managed to push aside her pride, but he didn't like seeing her completely apprehensive as she bowed lower. With a caring nature and strong reputation like hers, insecurity didn't suit her.

"Stop it Sakura," Temari spoke placing a hand on her shoulder in reassurance to stand up straight, "We're all friends here."

Sakura rose, but Gaara found her demurring aura bothering. He wanted her to know that she could trust him too.

In their past years, he had never cared much for her presence, but now he caught himself noticing her more. He had briefly spoken her during the war, watching from afar how she had grown as a person as she carried her head high alongside Naruto during the final fight.

He always found himself listening to the conversations other daimyos and politicians had concerning Sakura. He couldn't put his finger as to why he always found himself tuning in or bothered when they uttered her name in the same sentence with derogatory terms but blamed it on him trying to prevent any potential harm that may come to Naruto's precious friend.

Some good had come out of his eavesdropping. He had learned that she was now the most sought after kunoichi, getting her name listed on multiple bingo books thanks to her powerful punches. He had also learned that besides her medical prowess, many men spoke highly of her looks too.

She was the most powerful kunoichi and, despite his standing as a social outcast, he found that he wanted her to see him as a friend, so he could help her see the truth of herself.


	4. Delicate

Delicate

 **A/N:** Thank you for the continued support, responses, and reviews. I really appreciate those who've stayed with me through the long run and for those who were wondering about the other chapters of the story, I took them down because I'm rewriting this fanfic (and hopefully making it better!).

I would like to hear your comments in the reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter too.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or the quotes, but I do love how they inspire me.

* * *

 _ **"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and didn't notice it."**_

 _ **-Alice Walker**_

She was dancing barefooted in the dark. Although she couldn't see anything, she knew she was wearing a red dress with a bow tied around her neck. Her feet ached as if she had been wearing heels before taking them off, but despite the pain, she continued to dance. She twirled around and around, her arms gracefully flying as if she was in combat.

She wasn't alone either. She could feel hands surrounding her, roaming over her back and resting amongst her own.

It scarred her how familiar this dance felt. She had twirled like this before, and then she felt a splash of water across her legs. Suddenly her feet felt dirty, a rock had managed to embed itself between her toes and another stabbed her right in the middle of her heel. She felt another splash of water; her hands had come up to protect her face and she realized that her hair was cut short.

She was finally able to see that she was covered in splattered blood, but despite this attack, she continued dancing. Sakura knew this had to be a dream.

She turned to face her partner and she hated that she was right, because no one was dancing with her. She was alone now, full possession of her body and a kunai in her hand. Her dress was gone, and shoes were back on her feet.

But she wasn't in bed. She was standing against a wall for support alone in a hallway and she felt like she was suffering from a hot flash.

"Sakura!" she heard her name call out to her, but she couldn't move. Her vision was still a bit hazy and she struggled to remain upright for another second.

"Sakura!" she heard the voice louder, closer, but Sakura was giving up on her fight. She could feel herself totter forward, backward, and forward once more until her knees buckled. She mentally braced herself for the impact of her fall, but it never came.

Something warm and fuzzy had caught her and she stared up in an attempt to see who had managed to break her fall; she may not have seen her dance partner, but hopefully, she would catch a glimpse of her savior. She frowned when all she saw was the ceiling. She sure did have bad luck.

* * *

"Sakura," a gentle voice called to her once more, but it was different from the first two shouts she had heard earlier that day. "Can you hear me Sakura? Come on, wake up."

"You're coddling her too much Temari," Sakura heard Gaara mutter before Kankuro also spoke up.

"It's bad enough she fainted at the guest house all alone last night, now you're going to suffocate her too."

"Oh, hush you two," Temari scolded and placed a warm wet cloth on Sakura's burning forehead before pointing what looked like a finger in their direction, "Don't get smug, you're no white knight."

"It's good that I was there," Kankuro rebutted and Sakura shifted, forcing her eyelids to open wider. "She could've banged her head on the pavement if I hadn't seen her lose her footing. We'd be in the hospital as they tend to a bloody skull instead."

"Hey," Temari softly cooed at her and brushed her hair away from her face, "It's about time you wake up. Gave us quite a scare, there Sakura."

"Where am I?" Sakura asked, her voice hoarse, trying to sit upright but found Temari pushing her back down on a couch.

"Hey, take it easy, you need rest," Temari scolded like the motherly sister Sakura never had. "You're worse than Kankuro when he gets the fever, and that's saying something considering how dramatic he is."

Sakura lightly laughed at that, catching Gaara's corner-eyed gaze from the other side of the room where he was standing. It appeared that he was intent to see the aftermath of her situation while also placing enough distance between them making it seem like is interest wasn't personal but curiosity instead.

She found it rather ironic considering how Temari had suggested they were all practically friends. Sakura never did consider him as such, he was always Naruto's friend. Most of the ninja she had met outside of Konoha was a friend of a colleague and not many of her teammate's friends ever took the time to get to know her other than her titles or friendships.

"I do hope this little fainting incident was from the heat and not something you've been experiencing periodically," Temari slyly commented hoping to get an answer from her assumption that her randomly blacking out was new.

"Yeah!" Kankuro asked a bit curious himself, "You've been here before. How is it that you fainted this time around? Especially with you being a medic-nin and all."

"I don't know," Sakura lied, feeling remorseful considering Temari and Kankuro were the few she could name as friends outside of her home town. "I appreciate the worry, but I was medically cleared before my departure by Shizune herself. It must've just been the heat from the walk this morning, my chakra must've depleted more than I thought from keeping my body in homeostasis under the sun without water for too long."

It was a white lie, but Sakura knew it was a very valid one too. She had seen it happen all the time amongst medic-nins in training. The number one rule for them was to keep their own health in prime condition so they could help an injured member of their team during missions and only if it was under critical conditions. Some medic-nins took it too far, pushing themselves to clean every scratch while trying to keep their own body unblemished.

Medic-nins volunteering in the hospital often thought of themselves too highly and faced the same situation. Fainting was just one of the side effects of chakra loss with death being the main one.

"Well then, you'll have to be more careful Sakura," Temari said briefly glancing over her shoulder to acknowledge her younger brother. After missing out on their childhood and pushing Gaara away, Temari often blamed herself for not being the older sister she should have been. She had been so inconsiderate back then and vowed to not become that way ever again.

"I'm taking you shopping for proper sun protective clothes once you feel better," Temari pushing the guilt-ridden responsibility of sisterly love onto Sakura, "you'll spend the night- no, the remainder of your stay here with us so we can keep an eye on you."

"What?" Sakura complained, caught off guard. She didn't need a babysitter, nor did she want to intrude in their home. "I'm fine really."

"This isn't up for discussion," Temari firmly said and Sakura realized then that the blonde was doing this because she cared about her well-being. Sakura just clamped her mouth shut seeing Temari's form of love as a resemblance to her own towards her patients at the hospital.

"Okay, I'll stay," Sakura said with a nod giving up the fight she had no chance of winning. She couldn't push away Temari's hospitality and with full honesty, Sakura decided that she kind of deserved this for even lying to them.

Hearing that had satisfied Temari and the blonde rose to her feet patting Sakura's head before exclaiming that she was going to prepare Sakura's room to her brothers. Kankuro chose to follow suit with a comment from Temari who stated that he had to help her move all his puppets from the hallway else she dared to trash them.

That had Sakura laughing out loud, her melodic voice drifting to the only air of ears left in the room. She sat upwards, careful not to jolt her head too hard which still lingered with a pulsing tingle whenever she moved it.

He had his back to her, facing out towards a glass door that lead to what Sakura assumed was the courtyard. She couldn't deny that it was a beautifully large home with stairs that lead up to the second floor and possibly the bed rooms.

"Someone with your caliber must be foolish for falling for such an amateur move," Gaara said seeing through her bluff and letting her know he didn't believe her for a second. "You're no fool Sakura."

He knew she was lying, but Sakura wasn't about to give anything away. He would have to pry her secret out from her; they weren't friends.

"I may be a bigger fool than you know," Sakura replied, the bitter words sizzling on the tip of her tongue knowing just how true they were. She frowned but intently watched Gaara as he moved closer to her until he occupied the space where Temari had stood a few minutes ago.

Sakura didn't know what to make of this new change of mood in him as he purposely invaded her personal space. Gaara could feel her suppressing her chakra levels, making it seem like they were barely and was amazed by her perfect control of it.

"You can trust me," Gaara said, but to Sakura, it sounded more like a command. As if he was afraid she would flee from him like a mouse caught in the corner by a cat.

"And I am," Sakura reassured him, another lie falling naturally off her lips. "I trust you."

That made him seethe. She was lying straight to his face, her head held high with dull eyes and not once did she show guilt or hesitation. He wondered for how long she had trained herself to school her emotions and just the thought of it made his anger dissipate because this act of hers reminded him of himself.

She was building a wall and pushing who got too close away. He needed to proceed with caution and wait patiently for her to feel comfortable enough to open up to him, but Gaara knew there was no time for that. He would instead be persistent.

There was a fine line between forceful and persistent and Gaara decided the best course of action was to squat down so they were face-to-face. Their eye levels equal and he watched an inkling of change flicker in her eyes finding out that this change of stance had indeed affected her.

However, ever stubborn, Sakura remained silent. She didn't like how close he was or how he took advantage of the proximity. This allowed him to examine every detail of her face and star straight inside of her. Something buzzed within her chest, her heart accelerating with what she thought was fear of him being able to see how broken she was within.

Gaara granted her another minute of peace, secretly enjoying how she continued to deny herself the indulgence to squirm. She was strong, but one look at her soft almost sad features said otherwise. Her lips were downcast, her exotic colored brows framed the Yin seal adorning her petite face with a little tilt of worry. Melancholy etched into every line and underneath it, there was exhaustion hidden beneath her eyes.

"Say it again," Gaara said with a low voice and she looked confused wondering what he wanted her to repeat, so he made himself clear. "Lie to my face. Tell me you trust me."

Sakura broke her reserve, eyes widening and her lower lip trembling with a silent gasp. He had known all along and Sakura's hope of getting by without revealing her troubles to the sand siblings was crushed.

Gaara found that her little response made his fingers itch with the temptation to reach out and trace her face. He wanted to comfort her and show her he was there for her. It was a quick thought that had passed him, one which he instantly squashed. He would dwell on the fact as to why he wanted to engage in physical affection later. Right now, his priority was to get her to see him as a friend.

Sakura could feel his breathing tickle her lips and on instinct, she pulled back to give them some space. Her face hot and red, from the innocent intimacy.

"I'm not lying," Sakura replied, barely above a whisper, staring at his prominent features. His jade eyes never breaking their contact with her own and she dared to glance at his alluring scar, noticing the fleshy pink skin from being so close, right above his own tired black-ringed eyes.

Something stirred within her, a small hunch bubbling inside that told her she was staring at a partial mirror of herself. It was too much to bare, and Sakura pushed the idea away justifying her silly thinking as fear. He was slowly breaking her composure and Sakura could feel her hands shaking, but she didn't know if it was because he intimidated her or because she was drawn to the thought of breaking down before him.

"Do it again, lie to the Kazekage," Gaara grunted out. In his younger days, he would've taken her actions as a threat, disgusted that she would do such a thing and confirming his way of thinking that there was no one he could trust. He would've slaughtered the girl before she took another breathe.

But he didn't in that previous life. When given the chance during the chunin exam, the killer inside him couldn't snap her like a twig from how much she reminded him of his uncle. Of the love she had woven into her courage to be able to sacrifice herself for another.

She had boggled his mind and she was doing it all over again and he wanted to know more. What reason was she doing it for this time around?

"But can you lie to me?" Gaara asked, his own voice cracking from showing his own vulnerability. He hadn't meant for this to get so deeply personal, but it had and now it was too late to take it back. So, he did what had been haunting him since he got so close to her.

His hand swiftly latched into her long locks and tucked it behind her ear revealing the warm tinge of her cheeks to his eyes. He couldn't take his hand of her, reveling in her softness and left it there until she would make a move to tell him to do otherwise.

"I want to be your friend," Gaara said changing everything between them and making sure Sakura understood him loud and clear. "It hurts me when you lie."

Sakura knew then that she had royally messed up and nodded, her head lowered in shame, "I-I'm sorry, Gaara."

They stayed like that, him holding her and her getting a bit more comfortable with his presence for a while longer. But it wasn't long enough in Gaara's opinion as she backed away from him with a ragged sigh and slouched into the couch with defeat. He knew this was what he wanted to accomplish, but for some odd reason, her retreat made him discontent.

"O-Okay, I'm ready to talk," Sakura said, subtly hugging her arms and making it appear as if she was crossing them over her chest instead while anxiously biting her bottom lip; a gesture that was not lost on the red-head. "However, as a friend, I urge you to not continue this sensitive conversation. It might expose something of myself which will change your thoughts of me."

Gaara wasn't about to back down now, his opinion of her already set her above himself and anything she revealed could not change that. He sat down next to her, starting to feel the strain in his knees and secretly feeling the need to touch her again.

"As your friend, I ask you to trust me, Sakura." Gaara said childishly and turned his head to give her his full attention, "I care about you; as a medic, I am sure you understand where I am coming from."

Sakura knew he had a point and her using that same excuse over her friends and patients flashed before her eyes. His reasoning was just, and she frowned in the realization that he simply wanted what was best for her; she just hoped he was genuine about his feelings about her and not just pretending because of Naruto's relationship with her.

She pushed that assumption out of her mind, finding her self doing that quite often with thoughts that just surfaced from her subconscious.

"Okay, I've warned you," Sakura clarified before she would begin to explain her troubled situation, "and whatever you think of me, I'm not crazy I just can't contain it."

"Nor was I," Gaara slipped entrusting her with a glimpse of his own past and Sakura remembered that Gaara had to deal with a demon literally inside him. He had struggled more than she would ever know and fought against the urge to wreak chaos and violence. She could compare her own problem to his, it was obvious his own was far greater than hers but what he said next reminded the medic in her that everyone faced hardships differently.

"Sometimes I thought I was, but I got help from Naruto. We all overcome our predicaments in different ways. Talk to me about it," Gaara said encouraging her to tell him what was bothering her.

She was selfish. Here was someone who battled the Shukkaku and learned to control it and she had been denying his help since she arrived when all she had was a damn headache of sorts. Despite not knowing much about the man beside her, she knew she owed him for reminding him of his own painful past.

"I don't exactly know what's wrong with me. Shizune couldn't find anything wrong with my brain, but I know there's something inside fighting with my mind. Maybe I just am paranoid," Sakura mirthlessly laughed at herself.

Gaara didn't respond, not wanting her to shy away from him. She was talking about it to him and he needed answers about her behavior.

"It starts with a headache, most of the times I get drowned out of the real world. But it's no better in my mind. My head rings like a bomb exploding inside, jumbling my thought around and physically leaving me incoherent." Sakura disclosed feeling a weight lift from her shoulders, she had never openly told anyone about this besides Shizune. Ino didn't even know the full story.

"It doesn't help that most nights, I can't get a full night's sleep thanks to my nightmares." Sakura continued, her heart loudly thumping in her chest and her palms sweaty from nerves, "Without proper rest, it seems like these incidents keep growing stronger and more frequently. I've never fainted like I did today and I'm grateful Kankuro was there to catch my fall."

Yes, Kankuro had been there, but Gaara didn't want to break the moment by revealing that he had been the one to send his sand before she cracked her skull open. Kankuro would have never made it to her. Although it would be nice to have her gratitude geared towards him, he was enjoying the sound of her voice more.

"That's why I came here to visit the great medic-nin I've ever come across besides Tsunade. With my shishou being kami knows where, Chiyo-baasan is my only hope for now," a small smile graced Sakura's face, "I didn't come to get Chiyo's blessings on my journey. I came to pray to her for a cure or a sign that it would get better."

Gaara had a feeling that she didn't just mean her ordeal. There was something else that she was hoping would get better in her life, but he had pushed her far enough for today. He wasn't willing to break her trust in him so quickly all because he was curious.

He was also worried about her situation. She would be traveling all alone across the Land of Wind and was susceptible to black out without someone there to help protect her from bandits – or catch her fall. He didn't want her to be so vulnerable and justified his feelings towards the pinkette that Naruto wouldn't either.

"I'll personally make sure that all the villages in the Wind know that you're under my protection," Gaara avowed with a low voice before getting to his feet as he heard his sister's foot steps near.

"I can take care of myself," Sakura began to complain but piped down once she concluded that he was referring to her sudden bouts of paralyses. "You don't have to, Gaara, but thank you."

From his peripheral view, he caught her giving him a soft smile. Her eyes creased, partially closed and she looked sincerely happy. It overwhelmed his senses by how delicate every feature on her face looked despite knowing she was anything but fragile. Just as he was anything but calm and composed; in one point of his life he had been hostile regardless of his outward appearance and even now he still fought his killer emotions every now and then.

"Friends help each other," Gaara said with a nod of his own, finishing their conversation before his sister made her appearance and jumped to conclusions between the two.

He turned to leave wanting to pen the authorization, and have it sent out to the surrounding villages before she took her departure. He froze mid-step as he thought about her leaving.

He didn't know why it bothered him, he knew all along she would have to go but the realization of it was troubling after what he had learned about her. She wasn't a host of a tailed beast, despite having the vast control that resembled one, so it piqued his interest that she was facing such a difficult situation that he had experience in.

Like he once had, she was struggling with her bearings and he wanted to do more to help her than just pass a declaration on her safety. Gaara wanted to keep a close eye on her and make sure she was safe. He just didn't know how he could help any other way.

* * *

 ** _~Googled Dream Meanings~_**

 ** _Dreaming of dancing =_**

 _and rhythms of life; take into consideration a specific rhythm of life_

 _refers to a person's feeling of happiness, sense of victory and confidence…_

 _, passion, sexuality, desire and deep feelings_

 _**Recall that Sakura wasn't dancing on her own accord._

 ** _Barefoot in dreams =_**

 _of change_

 _; desire to be carefree of feel that you would benefit from loosening up in daily life_

 _through barriers and do what you want for a change_

 _some form of hardship; low self-esteem or struggling with an identity crisis that one can't seem to get around (having trouble going forward in life or not making any progress)_

 ** _Blood/splatter dream meaning =_**

 _; life force and energy, love, and passion as well as disappointment. May refer to some situation in life that is permanent, requires attention, and cannot be changed_

 _symbolize vitality, affection, and frustration._

 _, attachment, and tried friendship_

 _with the way we do things or say, looming danger of being caught up in a scandal_


	5. Perfumed in Petrichor

A/N: Thanks to all those who've stuck with me so far! You all are the best!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but if I did...

* * *

 _"Your future needs you._

 _Your past doesn't."_

 **-m.r.**

Sakura watched as he stopped a little way towards the kitchen doors. He was deep in thought and she hoped he wasn't still concerned over her. She didn't want him to fret over her, having everyone back in Konoha worry was enough and she didn't like being seen as a broken little girl. She just wanted to be treated normally for once. This was why she hadn't wanted to tell them in the first place.

She was about to call out to him, ask him what was on his mind and confront him on her reservations when Temari came joyfully skipping into the room with a wide smile covering her face and a pile of sleeping clothes in her arms.

"Sakura," Temari said rather joyfully, "Your room is ready!"

"Ah," she replied back with a small nod and watched as Gaara took the opportunity to disappear in a blur of sand. Whatever she had been thinking of telling him was now long gone with him.

"Jeez, I sure hope I didn't interrupt anything or did I?" Temari asked, her smile still plastered all over her face as if she knew something the pinkette didn't.

"No, no. There was nothing going on," Sakura lied unable to push the feeling that she was being kept out of the loop of something concerning herself. "Temari…"

"Yes?" The blonde asked not so innocently, but Sakura didn't have the heart to bicker with the girl.

"Thank you," Sakura found herself saying instead, "For everything you and your brothers are doing for me. I really appreciate the hospitality."

"Yup! Just like Gaara said, friends help each other," Temari replied before handing the satin nightwear at her and pushing her up the stairs in a hurry. "Now let us get you to your room-"

"Wait," Sakura narrowed her eyes at the blonde, "how do you know Gaara said that?" Realization dawned in her from the way Temari looked caught, "You were eavesdropping weren't you!?"

"What? Nonsense," Temari denied, but Sakura could make the pink tinge to her cheeks. "I would never, Sakura. Now if you follow me, right down here-"

"Wait! How much did you hear?" Sakura asked, cutting her off again. She was not going to let the sand kunoichi off the hook just yet, her dignity was at stake after all.

"Temari," Kankuro scolded as he approached them from the hallway, "You should know better than to spy on guests or our little brother. What if it was classified information they were chatting about?"

"It wasn't," assured the blonde causing the pinkette to stiffen.

"So, you were spying!" Yelled both the shinobi in sync. One a little hurt from the nonchalant answer from the other.

Sakura shook her head, suddenly feeling queasy once more, "I can't believe it."

"I can," Kankuro muttered in response, "She does it all the time. Poking her nose in matters that don't concern her."

Temari whacked him on the side of his head, "Hey!"

Kankuro worriedly noticed Sakura's pale features as the blood drained from her face, "Are you alright Sakura? You look sick."

At that, Sakura just shook her head, her hands clenching the material a bit tighter as she glanced at Temari waiting for her to expose her secrets like a similar babble mouth she knew rather well in Konoha. "I guess I'm just tired. Where's my room again?"

Temari placed a hand on her shoulder, "Sakura, are you sure you are all right?"

"Perfectly fine," Sakura said with a forced smile, but she refused to glance into the blonde's eyes afraid that she'd see just how anxious she really was feeling.

Temari's hand loosened on her, knowing that the younger girl was lying, but justified that she probably was just exhausted. "Right, uhm, it's the second door to your right at the end of the hallway. I hope it suits your needs, there's also a restroom there for you to use."

Sakura nodded, very happy to have a moment to finally escape and gain some peace and quiet all to herself. She was ready to turn but Temari held her back once more, "I'm sorry if I crossed a line or something. I'm new to this girl thing, I didn't mean to hear everything I just didn't want to intrude."

Sakura glanced at the older woman, her face rather shyly and very unlike the tomboy Sand Sibling. It was uncanny how much she reminded her of Ten-ten and her reserved behavior, she had also always felt left out when it came to their sleepovers or picnic hangouts back home because she felt like she didn't fully understand why girls were so obsessed over makeup and boys.

Sakura knew there was more to it; it wasn't about understanding the topics they talked about but of the fear of not fitting it. To put it simply, it was just pure self-consciousness holding them back. She had learned that first-hand when she had tried to win over Sasuke's attention for so many years. She had even gone as far as to care about her hair length for him.

How could she not accept Temari's guilty confession and forgive her?

"I'm not mad," Sakura replied lightly grabbing Temari's hand that she had placed over her upper arm and held it in her palm before giving it a tight squeeze and letting go. "You didn't do anything wrong, I just need to rest and so I can think a little clearer tomorrow. Thanks for the undergarments, Temari, I can't wait to hang out with you more tomorrow."

Sakura watched as those few simple words of kindness and truth brought a genuine smile to the blonde's face as she jumped to hug her before she departed to her own room for the night.

"Good night Sakura," Temari ecstatically said while Sakura entered the room she had chosen right across from her little brother's. "Sleep well."

"Good night," Sakura replied before completely disappearing with a slight nod, "Kankuro, Temari."

"Are you sure that was wise?" Kankuro asked pointedly glaring at his older sister. "Out of all the rooms, you gave her the one conjoined with Gaara's?"

"What of it?" Temari innocently asked with a minor shrug not really caring about the outcome of her decision. She hadn't exactly told the girl that her bathroom was shared with that of Gaara's. "You have to admit, she looked like she deserved to relax in the best bathroom in our house and we both know that his is the biggest. Poor thing looked like she'd been kissed by death; her worries reminded me of someone too. At least this time, I can actually do something about it."

"I didn't understand a thing you just ranted about," Kankuro sighed in defeat knowing he wasn't going to knock any sense into his stubborn sister and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "But I do know that when he finds out, you're dead."

"He can't kill me! I'm his favorite sister," Temari argued pushing the puppeteer with her shoulder. "Plus, he can try, but he'd never land a hit. He loves me too much."

"You're our only sister," Kankuro rolled his eyes. "Just so we're clear, whatever happens, I knew nothing of it."

Temari nodded in agreement, "As long as you don't rat me out, my lips are sealed."

* * *

Sakura turned the nob that lead to the restroom before her jaw dropped down to the ground in awe.

This had to be the biggest, most beautiful bathroom she had ever been in. It was like a miniature pool in the vicinity and she couldn't help letting out a squeal and a laugh in glee.

There was a large tub that resembled a pool pitted in the middle, white tiles lined the floor and on one side sat the toilet and on the other was a long ash grey vanity with a black marble countertop and an equally decorative circular mirror hanging over it.

It was a sin to have such a large bathroom. She felt pampered.

Sakura's eyes landed on the tall cabinet to the right of the vanity, opening the drawer to reveal an assortment of shampoos and accessories. She plucked what appeared to be a recently used bottle, not wanting to open a new one when there was one perfectly available for her to use, and a loofa before setting it on a corner of the tub.

She had already removed her kunai pouches and netting, leaving it behind in the bedroom so Sakura decided to strip herself of her clothes and then her bindings. Too excited to start bathing, she let it drop on the floor carelessly rather than folding it up and setting it aside.

When she submerged herself in the pool's already warmed up waters, she practically moaned in happiness. She only wished she could stay there forever.

Gaara had spent an hour far too long in his office drafting his executive order for Sakura's protection, especially with the festival underway, many caravans were going to be passing through Wind Country and there was bound to be one paid to smuggle enemy shinobi. As much as he detested the idea, he knew it was impossible to regulate all the caravans entering and exiting near his village.

At least that order, direct from the Kazekage, would give her some protection from harm. Not like she needed it, but if she did get attacked this gave him the right to kill without explanation. He wouldn't let anyone who touched her left unscathed. Naruto would never forgive him, and a small part of him wouldn't either.

When Gaara finally made it to his bedroom, he headed straight towards the restroom knowing he wasn't going to get any sleep. He always had trouble sleeping since the One-Tail had left him; he still wasn't used to it, but rest was vital for his body now that some of the tailed beast's powers were gone.

Opening the door, Gaara's nose was instantly assaulted by a very tantalizing smell of sweet petrichor. It was light, but he could make out the earthy waft and he had smelled it before…on Sakura.

However, there was a light new tint embedded in her smell. It smelled like sandalwood and ylang-ylang intertwined with her own scent to create a very pleasant mix – she must've used his shampoo. He found his gums itching, like when it did before the Shukaku took over the hosts' body, from the smell and instantly placed his hand over his nose to evade smelling anymore of it.

Gaara noticed that he had almost turned the knob leading to the adjacent room from his own and he cursed. Sakura was in there, sleeping no doubt and tempting his limits. He could smell her despite the barrier and some primal urged him to barge in and hold her close to him, so he could continue smelling it straight from the source.

Nevertheless, he was no carnage beast. He had proven that dozens of times and Gaara wasn't going to break his record anytime soon. He was not going to give in to and attack her sleeping form whether the image of her peaceful features haunted his mind or not.

Instead, he turned around ready to fight himself to will his exhausted body to sleep and as he passed by to his own door, he found something rather interesting laying nearby the wastebasket. As if someone had meant to throw the item away but missed instead.

* * *

"Slept well?" Temari asked, a smirk gracing her face as she wondered just exactly how well she slept.

Too bad Sakura held pure innocence in her own features. She really had slept better than any other night she could remember of, attributing it on the fact that she had felt like she wasn't alone within the sand sibling's home. She had felt protected and it had been a while since she'd felt that way.

"I dropped like a baby, why?" Sakura asked placing her dishes in the sink wondering if the Kazekage home had any maids that came to clean the house when it was empty; it was a pretty big home after all.

"Just wanted to make sure you had enough energy before I dragged you shopping!" Temari slyly replied acting every bit the obsessed girly-girly. "We have so many stores to hit and with your body, I think I can fit you into a size double zero."

That's when Sakura had a coughing fit. There was no way she would ever fit into such a small size. She may look petite and small chested compared to other girls like Ino, but she much preferred to fit comfortably in a size two or more preferably a four. Weren't oversized clothes a trend now?

"Or maybe something a little sheerer? I'm sure you could pull off cropped tops," Temari continued rambling ignorant of Sakura's worried aurora.

"Don't you have other matters to attend to?" Kankuro shook his head with a chuckle at Sakura's expensive, "I'll take her. Besides she looks like she's ready to burst with you babbling like an idiot. What do you say Sakura?"

The puppeteer comfortable placed his arm around Sakura's shoulders. He was giving her an opportunity to escape the blonde sand shinobi and Sakura couldn't be any more grateful as she innocently nodded. She even added a fake smile, one borrowed from Sai, to add onto her innocent act so she wouldn't hurt Temari's feelings.

"You should take care of your priorities first Temari," Sakura said, her voice a bit lighter than normal helping her sound angelically nice, "I'll still be here when you're done."

"Great!" Kankuro said turning the pinkette in his embrace and himself away from Temari, "It's settled then, see you later sis."

Temari frowned, not because Sakura had managed to evade her, but because her idiot brother had stolen her chance to question the woman away from prying ears about other things like her personal life. Temari shot a glance at her little brother who had been leaning against the wall watching the whole exchange, he blended right in looking as disinterested as usual, but she knew better. He had been hung up on every word that slipped the pinkette's mouth, watching her like a hawk every time she so much as twitched.

Gaara would deny it if Temari commented about him starring at the power-punching girl. He was more like smelling her. She still smelled like him and he couldn't help but enjoy how their smells mingled together.

His sleeve lifted somewhat as he picked up his tea revealing bandaged wrappings on his wrist. With her scent being closer, he could tell apart a hint of vanilla and honeysuckle that belonged solely to her. Gaara didn't mind how sweet it was. The exotic and rawness of it excited his senses in ways he had never felt or knew were possible for him to ever feel.

He liked their smell. What he didn't like was how his now fading smell from her body had been covered with Kankuro's dry wood smell instead from holding her close and guiding her away.

Good thing he was better at controlling his raging emotions and hiding them away.


	6. Poisoned Flowers

**A/N:**

 *****warning: sad backstory towards the end of the chapter. *****

* * *

 _"Here's the thing: You don't get better overnight. The flue doesn't go away overnight, a broken arm doesn't heal overnight, not even a tiny papercut will heal overnight. Therefore, you can't expect a broken heart and ill mind to recover in 8 hours._

 _You are on your way. You are on the right path, whatever it is. And if it's not the direction you should've taken, turn around, go anywhere. Just do what you need to do to make your life yours again. To make yourself feel like you."_

\- **(via https-absent)**

It was noon and it was hot. Maybe she should've gone on that shopping trip with Temari to get lighter clothes but as she watched Kankuro flirt with the cashier she knew deep down Temari would've gotten on her nerves a bit more than her brother.

"Thanks for everything," Sakura said as Kankuro returned to their table, a receipt from their food in his hand, "I could've covered my part of the bill you know."

"Well, that's not very gentlemanly like if I let you do that." Kankuro had the gall to smirk and Sakura rolled her eyes but couldn't contain the chuckle that escaped her. He was something else and she was briefly reminded of Naruto, but this man before her was a bit more conceited and less clueless about the opposite sex.

"Plus, if the other girls see me with you, they might just get jealous and appreciate how sweet I am. I'm just building my reputation," Kankuro shrugged and Sakura felt her hand twitch from the desire to plummet him into the ground for using her like that.

"Gross. You're such a flirt," Sakura scoffed, rising from the table, "I guess your reputation of a playboy really does precede you."

The puppeteer half-heartedly hummed. He had heard that line too many times after getting caught with other girls and then receiving a rather heavy rant full of curses and flying objects. "Yeah, yeah you're starting to sound like them too and worst of all like my sister."

Sakura laughed at that, tucking a loose of pink behind her right ear, "You take your sister out on dates too? You're such a nice brother."

"Eww, okay, no," he replied shaking his head to remove the image burning in his mind, "Don't even joke about that; what if the girls heard you?"

Sakura laughed, a snort coming out of her and then she heard Kankuro join her as they walked out of the shop. The sun was still high, it felt like their skin was going to burn off and they quickly ran towards shade underneath an ice cream parlor.

"Should we go in?" Sakura asked the thought of ice looking rather appealing but so did the other less crowed apothecary store in front of it caught her curiosity.

"Which one?" Kankuro asked noticing that she was looking towards their little medical shop rather with much more interest.

Sakura turned to look at him, one brow raised noticing he really was more self-aware than all her guy friends back in Konoha. He wasn't Naruto. No, the bouncing blonde would've gladly run into the parlor like a child. Sai, on the other hand, would have noticed but would resort to picking on her and her weird interests. This man beside her seemed like he actually cared what she cared for and could care less what it was about – if that made any sense.

Kankuro just stood there waiting for her response as he sensed his someone nearby. He had been watching every male in Suna eye the exotic girl with hunger and he had been fending them off all morning with very subtle hints that she wasn't available. He had promised Temari that he wouldn't let anyone come close to and he didn't want to.

He too had caught the gleam of admiration his little brother had bestowed the girl and was silently rooting that maybe something between them would blossom. He also couldn't fight the fact that they looked good together and if he thought about it, they complimented one another.

He felt the need to do this for Gaara. The red-head didn't have the charisma he did.

Thankfully, he could feel that it was someone familiar getting closer and let his guard fall along with the hand he was about to place atop of Sakura's elbow before making their escape into the apothecary.

"Sakura!" Temari shouted, waving her hands towards them as she approached the pair. "Let's go shopping so we can bond over girly stuff together!"

Sakura surprised Kankuro as she instead took the initiative and manhandled him. Her hand grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards her as they ran to the safety of the medicine shop across the parlor as a crowd blocked Temari's view and prohibited her from getting any closer to him.

Somehow, they had made it, losing Kankuro's sister in the process and he couldn't help but laugh.

Sakura eyed the brunette wondering what had gotten into him as he doubled down, clutching his gut as he laughed his heart out.

"Oi, what's so funny?" Sakura asked, "So I freaked out. What of it?"

The idiot only laughed some more so Sakura ignored him. She turned around, taking in her surroundings in the quaint shop. There was something almost picturesque about the labeled jars filled with dried and wet herbs of all sorts as they were stacked atop one another. If she wasn't paying attention, she would've called the whole layout messy and crowded but she knew better.

It had its own organizational structure; one that was more categorized by usefulness rather than within its own group. Currently, she was standing in front of a shelf that held various dry flowers, berries and old scrolls that probably contained recipes featuring these plants.

A few lavender plants caught her eye, her hand outstretched ready to feel the petals before she jumped in surprise at the voice shouting behind her.

"Sakura!" Temari huffed, her hand grabbing her pale wrist and pulling her away from the shelf. "I thought I lost you in the crowd! Wouldn't that have been horrible?"

Sakura nodded rather numbly as Kankuro snickered nearby. Damn, just when she thought they had gotten away.

* * *

"What do you think about this one Sakura?" Temari asked holding up a light green sweater and some khaki cropped pants. These had been the most modest the blonde had presented within the past couple of hours from shuffling through racks at the local fashion strip.

She had shown the younger girl countless tops that showed off her body, but much to her chagrin, the younger girl was too shy and reserved when it came to matters of clothing – or lack thereof.

"I think I actually like that," Sakura replied, feeling the comfortable material and sizing up the clothes.

"Ah, ah," Temari chided snatching the clothes away from Sakura's reach, "We have to make a compromise. I can't let you leave with only one outfit after spending so much time here. We need to make this trip worth it."

Sakura's brows furrowed in confusion as she stared at the two bags in her hand ready to protest when Temari beat her to the punch.

"Shoes, accessories," Temari frowned, pointing a condemning finger at the pinkette, "and weapons do NOT count."

"Fine," Sakura sighed, giving up and giving into Temari who she seemed to now view as an evil big sister. "How about you chose two outfits, whatever tops of your choosing, but the bottoms have to be appropriate for traveling."

"Deal!" Temari replied so fast that Sakura wondered if Temari had planned this from the start. Then in the blink of an eye, Temari had grabbed some items and ran to the shop's checkout line.

Sakura only prayed that the tops she would get for her weren't too revealing. She wanted to keep some dignity and imagination alive.

By the time Temari had finished paying for Sakura's new wardrobe, it was nightfall. The brightly lit moon glowing, and it took her breath away. She didn't know how she had missed it last night.

It was a lovely sight as the beams elegantly touched the surface of the sand. What had once appeared sizzling hot during the daytime and burned if touched for too long now looked like silk. She very much wanted to run her fingers along the sand and lay on it.

The moon hung right behind the sand hills, all massive and sparkly. A giant pillow briefly appeared in her mind and Sakura chuckled at her silly comparison.

"It's beautiful," She confessed to the blonde in an almost awed whisper, never once taking her eyes off the scenery. "This is definitely worth the scorching heat of the day."

"Isn't it?" Temari agreed coming up behind her, "Konoha may have its green beauty, but this is Sunagakure's treasure."

Sakura turned, her eyes traveling up the blonde's face as she smiled in pride and admiration of the landscape. There was no doubt that this place was magical, there was always something different about the never-ending sand whenever she visited the hidden village.

"I know you want to go straight home, I'm sure I tired you with our little shopping expedition, but I have some more errands to run before the day ends and I don't want to leave you all alone." Temari sighed cracking her back and neck, "I can send Kankuro while you visit the medical shop from where I stole you from."

"You don't have to," Sakura said, feeling guilty for troubling the sand siblings. They were busy people and here she was taking up their time. "Honestly, I'll be fine on my own."

"I know," Temari replied with a smirk, "I haven't forgotten who you are. But I'm still sending him anyways."

Sakura chuckled, her cheeks lightening up from the subtle praise coming from the older girl. "Fine, I guess he'll know where to find me."

"Good." Temari said, "I'm glad you didn't fight it. You would've lost anyway."

Sakura just laughed some more; the girl really was like a big sister with her playful jokes and innuendos.

Within a few seconds, Temari had disappeared with shopping bags in tow and Sakura made her way down to the apothecary shop. Opening the door, Sakura felt like she was transported back into a storybook's witches' house.

There was everything from an alchemist to a shaman's dream of a variety of supplies. Of course, that was back in the day and most of these trinkets and wet and dry herbs weren't used to in this modern day. However, for those who preferred ancient practices, this little coven was a piece of heaven.

Especially for medics who liked to blend their medicines with only the purest of ingredients. Or their poisons.

A small smile reached Sakura's lips as a familiar face popped in her mind. That's why she was so interested in this little shop.

She could practically see Chiyo entering the front door, the little bell right at the top announcing her presence as she skimmed the shelves for fresh rose hips, dandelion greens, and schizandra berries. And then she could see her ordering some dried peppers, oleander, and yarrow leaves to experiment with. Then the older lady would be back buying other aromatic plants for the antidote.

Sakura's smile grew wider. She probably looked like a crazed weirdo to others, but she couldn't help it. She had been having such a good day so far and it seemed like her luck was finally changing for the better.

Getting closer to the flowers, Sakura drew her gloves out from her kunai pouch and placed them on. It was better to be safe than sorry for what she wanted to purchase. Three stems later, Sakura was paying for her items before she felt something akin to a fever consume her.

She winced, her hand coming up to touch her face to make sure she wasn't dreaming this pain. Her day truly had been too good to be real. Her legs buckled, but Sakura breathed in through her nose, pushing the pain away and she felt sweat trickle down her forehead.

"Are you feeling fine?" Kankuro asked, reaching the shop at just the right moment and grabbed her forearm as she tumbled over the exit.

"Just peachy," Sakura lied with a forced smile. "I think I've been on my feet for too long."

She eyed the nearby bench, it looked very enticing, and then back at Kankuro's wide-eyed face. He looked clueless like he didn't know what to do next and she wondered how he had managed to catch her the day before.

"I'm just going to sit for a little while," Sakura said, helping Kankuro ease of his own panic.

They had sat there for a few minutes. She felt like a dead battery, recharging with energy as she tied a ribbon around the packaged flowers in her hand like a bouquet. Outside of the shop, it looked rather pitiful and Sakura let out a little snort of irony. She knew first hand that these mere flowers weren't anything but lethal.

Kankuro was considerate and patient enough to give Sakura a few minutes to collect herself.

"Thanks," Sakura said, her voice a bit light with embarrassment. "You're too nice with me."

Kankuro evaluated her from head to toe; if only she knew. If he didn't take care of her, his brother would have his head as he replied, "Don't mention it."

"If you don't mind taking a detour with me," Sakura began saying with a hint a hesitation to let the man tag along with her, "I have someone I'd like to visit before we head home."

Knowing he had nothing better to do, he nodded and helped her up before following her in comfortable silence until they reached Suna's desert garden or more known as the Celebration of Succulents. It was the only bit of green that resided in the village which many sand shinobi tried to overlook and some even took detours to bypass.

They walked through a stone path until Sakura stopped in her tracks finding the one she had come to see. She kneeled in front of the headstone belonging to the infamous Chiyo-baasan, her hand reaching out to run her fingers over the engraved name while Kankuro copied her movements in respect.

Minutes passed, and he could see the pain and regret etched on her face. It tittered between hopelessness and sadness and the puppeteer decided that he hated that look on her face. She looked better when she was smiling.

"I think she'd be very proud of you Sakura," Kankuro said attempting to get her mind off the loss of their elder. He received a smile in return, small and only covering the corner of her lips but a smile nerveless and he wasn't that picky. "Me, however, she'd probably slap me over the head for not visiting her sooner."

At that, Sakura laughed, a single tear falling out of her eye. She wiped it up and continued chuckling, shaking her head at the man's vivid imagery. Kankuro just watched, smiling at himself for having been able to cheer her up.

"She had a hand in saving my life, yet not once did I come to visit her since they buried her here." Kankuro looked around, an aloe petricola that resembled the head of palms and looked like the sunset glow in contract against the night's dark colors caught his eye. He could almost feel Chiyo's feisty soul and when he looked over at Sakura again, he was reminded of the older woman once more. They both had that same fiery essence; both strong and bright. It was obvious the older lady meant a lot to the girl.

"Here," she handed him the brown wrapped package and indicated her unwrap it while she retrieved a simple vase out of the bag from the same herbal store they had come from. She placed it at the leg of the stone and stared at him with wide eyes as he continued his task of unwrapping the gift.

"So, you bought her dead flowers?" He asked, a bit confused about the three single dried flowers in his lap.

Sakura nodded, about to say something when Kankuro brought it up to his nose for a whiff. Instantly, she stopped him mid-action, lowering his arm back down with a chuckle, "These are foxglove, wolfsbane, and nightshade. They're plants I've recently encountered among a few patients every now and then who've mistaken them for being eatable. They're more than just pretty to look at; taken in large doses, these little plants can be fatal."

Kankuro placed the plants down on the plate before quickly wiping his hands on the pants. He wasn't a big fan of poisons especially after being a victim and suffering the horrendous symptoms. He was not a fan of the experience – having almost died during his fight with Sasori.

"I thought Chiyo might like them instead of a bunch of flowers," Sakura commented with a small snicker and her eyes distanced themselves, reminiscing some distant memory. Kankuro let her mind wander in peace as he took in the situation he found himself in.

"If you don't mind me asking," Kankuro began wondering if he should even finish his sentence in fear that he'd depress her after making her laugh, "why do you go out of your way to visit Chiyo-baasan?"

Sakura, however astonishing to the brunette, didn't mind being asked questions about Chiyo. It gave her an opportunity to talk about her. To let out her bubbling emotions.

"For the brief time that it took me to befriend her and change her mind about Suna – about Gaara – I came to see her as a grandmother of sorts. As a little more than just a mentor in my field of expertise." Sakura said, her hand clutching onto the flowers released some pressure, "You see, after losing my family, Team 7 was all I had left."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." Kankuro apologized, thinking about his own little family and how lucky he was to still have his siblings after everything they've been through.

"I didn't expect you to, so please don't worry about it." Sakura sincerely said, "Tsunade caught me digging through the obituaries one night during the anniversary of my dad's death. He died honorably. However, my mom never recovered after losing her husband.

"I was still training under the Fifth Hokage when the Akatsuki's threat gripped fear through our civilian community. My mom completely lost it then, she told me I'd end up dead like my father. She told me if I loved her, I'd renounce my shinobi life." Sakura let out a deep sigh, a sign of displeasure, "She asked me to make a choice then and there. I tried my best to make her understand that what I was doing – what my dad died doing – was important. She couldn't see reason and I couldn't just give up after gaining Tsuande's mentorship and finally building a reputation for myself, so she kicked me out and told me to never come back."

"Sakura…" Kankuro began trying to find the right thing to say to comfort her, but he was at a loss of words.

"That's when I took my father's surname in pride. I don't regret standing up for myself," Sakura said through a forced smile directed at him despite her sadness. "I'm sorry for unloading on you, it's just Chiyo was like a motherly figure for me unlike my own. Then there's Sasori who's like an estranged cousin I had the misfortune to kill on behalf of Chiyo's honor."

He didn't care about her exposing her heavy life story to him. It only encouraged his admiration for the girl, even though it was already high from her saving his life when they were younger. What bothered him was how he watched as she clenched and unclenched her skirt's fabric. There was something else she was holding back from saying for his sake and he knew he needed to give her some space.

"How about I give you a moment alone with Chiyo and I'll see you back home in half an hour?" Kankuro asked, her sharp green eyes silently thanking him while she nodded in agreement.

Just like that, Sakura watched as he left her all alone, granting her freedom to speak to the dead without feeling the need to hold back for her companion's sake. She was grateful for his kindness.

"Chiyo-baasan," Sakura continued turning her full attention towards her grave, "I grew up a little more that night. I learned just how difficult civilian-shinobi relationships could be and how love can't conquer all. I always believed that it could. I guess my definition of love was all a girly fantasy. That's why I'm glad I met you and Sasori. You two gave me a sliver of hope to never give up even when love wasn't enough."

She retrieved a vial of the antidoted she had once used to combat Sasori's poison from her fight in Suna. She had kept it all these years knowing it belonged to its rightful owner: Chiyo.

"I remember everything you told me. Thanks to you, I was able to bring back someone very dear to me. I even managed to surpass Tsunade-shishou. I don't know if you lasted long enough to see it during the war." Sakura smiled, "But, I'm sure you're laughing your head off for beating my shishou. You never did get along with her."

"Well, I should get going," Sakura went to stand, dusting off the dirt that had accumulated on her skirt and black shorts. "There's just something I have to ask; how long have you been sitting up there Gaara?"

Sakura looked up at the roof behind her staring straight into eerie light green glowing eyes piercing through her. The small smile that had covered her face was once again replaced with a frown and he much preferred the beautiful curve of her lips. He even found himself wanting her to direct one towards him.

Gaara also took in her own slightly glossy and dark-rimmed eyes. He could read her like a book and knew she wasn't mad at him. Just irritated, tired, and sad.

He hadn't meant to overstay, but he had been too intrigued and captivated by her. She had always managed to catch his attention in everything she did without realizing it and he didn't know if he hated that about her.

He was after all still learning why he found her so fascinating.


End file.
